The Paradox of Wishing to Be Younger
So I do realize I’m not 20 anymore. It’s funny how sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on things. I haven’t achieved everything I’d hoped by now, so part of me wishes I could be a little younger. But on the other hand, I know I couldn’t achieve them anyway without knowing what I do now, and that only came to me through time and experience. This whole thing is then merely a utopia.
The truth is I have mostly enjoyed life in my 30s because of, well, everything that age brings. The independence, the freedom, the “I can do anything” feeling. This is my journey though, and it’s clear that each of us has their own journey no one else can compare. And yet I feel like we spend a great deal of time comparing our stories to one another and then giving them value based on this comparison.
I am not a defense here. I often find myself in this trap of comparison. Yet I’m entirely grateful for all the things, opportunities, people, and life I was fortunate to experience so far.
Growing Up as a Millennial: Between Two Worlds
For me as a millennial, it’s quite challenging to navigate the world sometimes, living now in a completely different world than I was raised to live in. Having said that, I find myself very fortunate though to have grown up without internet and technologies, as I truly appreciate the childhood I’d wish for everyone. The opportunity to be a kid.
I’m here now though not to talk about my childhood but about life in your 30s—because let’s face it, we’re all navigating it. And while I still find myself rather youthful, cheerful, and sometimes like a teenager in my spirit, I am definitely growing older like each of us. Now I sound like I’m at the edge of life, which was not my intention. But who really defines what’s young or old anyway? I’m simply speaking from the perspective of comparing my 20s and 30s—my own reference point, not society’s labels.
I do not hate it. To be honest, I’d guess it would be scarier than it is for me. I admit it’s most likely because I am healthy, well, and besides my meaningless job that I hope will soon be changed, I love my life. I feel the urge to say here that luck doesn’t really play a role in this—it’s really the mindset I’ve been nurturing for the last couple of years of my life. The mindset and of course inspired actions, because even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just stand there.
Life happens for you if you let it.
When Your Body Starts Demanding More Attention
Going to the part when I’m realizing I’m not 20 anymore is my appearance, of course, as I find it so much more difficult to keep myself fit and healthy. Life in your 30s demands more attention to your body—that’s just the reality. Again, I’m lucky to love sports and have been in its presence my whole life, making working harder on myself now that much easier. And let me tell you, it is necessary. The fact that once you get used to one thing and out of sudden you’re 5 years older and your body needs something completely different kinda sucks. I love my routine, you know. And it takes time to find it and keep it.
So damn body, why are you doing this to me? I’m at the age when I see people around me taking this aging thing diversely.
Some are having Botox, some have injected other things in their faces and other places. Some are buying anti-aging creams, and oh my, women after 30 complain way too much about how their body hurts somewhere.
Not that doing any of these things or complaining is bad. This is everyone’s choice and I respect it. I also understand that we, women, are still pressured by society to be and do things. Or at least we feel like we are.
The Wisdom That Only Time Can Bring
So here we are, we are aging, getting wiser for sure because here comes what I mentioned earlier: I might wish to be 20 again with the things I know now and who I am now, but that could never happen as all of it came to me exactly during this time.
What I find the hardest is actually being surrounded by so many amazing and talented people who are younger than me. Maybe they’re living the life I dreamed of and I still have a journey ahead. This is hard, and even though I am aware that we all have our own unique journeys and I’m very much content with it, I cannot help myself but wonder.
Maybe all of this is connected to the changing hormonal balance, lower stress resilience, or the need to actually sleep for 8 hours a day—please tell me how should I do that. The day only has 24 hours. But I truly feel the need. And maybe that’s what I am mad about.
The best thing about life in your 30s if you ask me is—actually there are many amazing things about aging I’d say. You know yourself better, you have the wisdom, you have been through things, experienced things, life, situations.
Also, no matter how old you are, you’re never too old to live the life you desire.
To start a new thing. To be who you wish to be.
Body Acceptance and Embracing Who You Are
I love that I have learned to accept my body, for example, although I have to admit this didn’t only come with age—there was a great deal of inner work as well. But I used to focus on how I look so much more in my 20s. Not that that’s bad or anything, but it did only bring me stress.
Now I go to the gym wearing an all-pink outfit because I’m no longer afraid if I look too girly or too chubby in it. I love it and it makes me happy. And this feeling is so amazing. To own who you truly are.
Another thing I want to mention is that you might feel, similarly to me, overwhelmed with things. Life in your 30s comes with new responsibilities—I mean I didn’t have to pay attention to how much water I drink, if I forgot to take my vitamins, or whether I was getting enough sleep. It’s simply that I didn’t have to do it before. So it’s a new thing for me.
Also, slower living in general. I mean I’m still crazy and fast in many things and hopefully will stay that way forever, but the slow living in terms of listening to my body, eating whole foods, slow fashion, less is more.
Social Media, Beauty, and What Really Matters
Let’s talk about social media’s impossible standards for a minute. For my generation, growing up not only without social media but without internet whatsoever, today’s possibilities are almost indescribable. And how easy it is to get overwhelmed with the beauty of other people’s lives when they have money, fame, travel for a living, and apparently everything anyone could ask for.
Well, I have learned that you need to be very intentional about the content you consume. Boundaries need to be set. On the other hand, social media is great for inspiration and education. I take it as a powerful and mostly positive tool. But I keep my boundaries for sure.
What I think and tell my friends about the topic of aging is this:
Your beauty is created by your character, not your face or abs. This is not cheesy but true. If you pay attention to how beautiful you find certain people, you will without hesitation find out that whether you find them physically attractive or not, they are beautiful to you.
It’s okay to be afraid of aging. As with anything else, it’s an unknown territory for us and therefore natural to feel some scare.
You don’t need to stay young forever and of course you cannot, and although any facials are not my thing, get Botox if you want.
My personal advice to stay young is to do what you truly love—that makes you feel and look so much younger. And of course, take care of your outside but more importantly, your inside.
My 30s Brought Me Everything My 20s Couldn’t
In my 30s, the most amazing things happened.
I found myself again—my unapologetic, true self. I made best friends for life. I met my soulmate and got married. I lived in Australia, travelled to places that changed me, completed a coaching course, started loving my body again, started loving myself again. I rediscovered how incredible life can be when you stop hiding from it.
And you know what? I have this overwhelming feeling that I’m only just starting.
Your 30s are waiting for you to stop apologizing and start living. What’s the one thing you’re going to do differently today?
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