We all encounter people who behave rudely and negatively, whether it’s directed at you or happening around you. However, have you ever considered that their anger and negativity might not be about you at all?
In this post, we’ll explore how to shift your approach to dealing with negativity and rudeness from those around you, and discuss why we encounter such behavior in the first place.
Navigate to where you want to go:
Understanding the Reasons:
Understanding that negative people often exhibit rude behavior due to inner struggles can change how we perceive and respond to them.
When someone acts out, it’s natural to feel upset or angry with them, especially when you’re not responsible for their feelings. However, realizing that these actions usually come from personal issues allows us to respond with empathy and patience.
Life’s challenges can influence people to behave in ways that seem rude or negative.
I’ve experienced this personally, even as a typically calm person. Sometimes, I get triggered, and it’s important to recognize that the issue lies within me. By acknowledging this, I can choose how I want to feel and grow from the experience.
Here’s an unpopular opinion:
The reason you feel triggered lies within you, not in the person you’re interacting with. They might simply push the button, but they aren’t the cause of your trigger. Recognizing this can bring you one step closer to healing.
Building empathy is like working a muscle—the more you use it, the stronger it becomes.
I stick to a simple rule: be the change you want to see. I won’t act mean towards you because I hope you won’t be mean towards me.
This doesn’t mean we excuse bad behavior, but it encourages us to respond with kindness instead of anger. Practicing this type of patience can be challenging, but it leads to better, more positive reactions.
By embracing empathy and patience, we enhance our interactions with others and experience personal growth, which is the goal, isn’t it? To become the best version of ourselves.
Look for the positives
Negative interactions can also serve as valuable lessons in assertiveness, teaching us to set boundaries and safeguard our mental well-being.
Boundaries encourage us to practice assertiveness in a healthy and constructive manner. They play a crucial role here, and anyone grappling with negative interactions should first evaluate their own boundaries—not just with others, but also with themselves.
For example, I refuse to let anyone make me feel like I’m someone I’m not. I won’t allow them to trigger me because that doesn’t reflect my true self; it’s merely an unhealed, reactive version of who I am.
You are not alone
We often expect perfection from ourselves and others without understanding their struggles.
If you frequently encounter rude or negative people, reflect on how you communicate with others and with yourself. Sometimes these interactions can serve as mirrors, reflecting your own behavior and mindset.
Discovering Your Support Network
Lacking supportive friends and a sense of community can greatly affect how we interact with others. Feeling isolated makes it difficult to engage positively and can deepen feelings of loneliness, reducing our capacity for empathy and patience.
You might find joy in joining clubs, attending meetups, or participating in online groups centered around your interests. These activities are fantastic ways to meet people who share your values and passions.
Building these connections will not only make your social life more vibrant but also create a supportive network that boosts your overall well-being.
Some books that have helped me better understand this topic and focus on what’s important are “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” by Amy Morin and “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.
The Toxic Workplace: A Common Experience
Dealing with a toxic workplace is something many of us encounter, and sometimes, leaving isn’t a straightforward option.
The negativity and stress can easily seep into your personal life, influencing how you interact with those around you. It’s important to acknowledge how such an environment affects your mental health, so you can decide if it’s something you can manage or need to change. Developing strategies to maintain your well-being and assertiveness is key to navigating these tough situations.
Mirroring
One angle to consider, when dealing with negative people, is that these encounters highlight the imperfections we all have, nudging us to be kinder not just to others, but also to ourselves.
They remind us that everyone has their own struggles, and this realization can foster empathy and patience.
Additionally, encountering difficult behavior can act as a mirror, reflecting the traits or actions we don’t want to adopt in ourselves.
It becomes a lesson in self-reflection, helping us define who we want to be and how we want to treat others.
I really like the comparison Jay Shetty used in his “On Purpose” podcast: the people we meet are either a mirror, a window, or a door to us.
This concept really stuck with me because, upon reflection, I could see one of these roles in every person I’ve met.
Mirrors:
These are the people who reflect our own qualities, behaviors, and emotions back to us. They help us see ourselves more clearly, highlighting both our strengths and areas for improvement. Interactions with mirror people can be enlightening because they reveal how we come across to others and prompt self-reflection and growth.
This can be especially painful when you realize you might act similarly to the person who mirrors you, but it’s also an amazing wake-up call.
Windows:
These individuals provide us with a view into new perspectives and experiences that we may not have considered before.
They broaden our horizons and expand our understanding of the world. Window people can introduce us to new ideas, cultures, and ways of thinking, enriching our lives and encouraging us to think outside of our usual patterns.
Doors:
These people represent opportunities and new paths in our lives. They have the potential to open up new chapters or experiences, whether it’s through career opportunities, personal growth, or transformative relationships.
Door people often challenge us to step out of our comfort zones and embrace change, acting as catalysts for significant life transitions.
It’s important to listen to your intuition and put your ego aside to truly see the roles others play in your life.
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