What if everything you thought you knew about personal growth was actually holding you back?
You’ve probably heard all the usual self-help advice: set SMART goals, practice mindfulness, develop a growth mindset, and read personal development books.
But what if I told you that’s just scratching the surface? Let’s be honest, these generic tips, while well-intentioned, often leave you wondering where to actually begin. The real journey of self-development is far more nuanced and personal than a list of one-size-fits-all strategies.
What is personal or self-development?
Personal development is your journey to become the best version of yourself. It’s not about following a cookie-cutter plan, but crafting your unique path to growth.
Sure, you’ve heard the usual advice – set goals, meditate, read self-help books. But let’s be real, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Self-growth is an intense journey that impacts every aspect of your life – your emotions, physical state, thoughts, and social connections. It influences everything you do, say, think, and feel.
Sounds like a lot, right?
But don’t worry. We’ll approach this process step by step.
It’s about making small, consistent changes and enjoying the journey. Trust me, it’s an adventure that’s totally worth it!
Your WHY
So the question is not only why should I start. I’m pretty sure you are here because this one is clear to you already and I won’t bore you with all the benefits of practising self-development such as happy and content life. More important why is:
What is your personal motivation, goal, what is your WHY?
It’s the burning question.
There’s nothing quite so intimidating as asking yourself if you’re truly happy with your life and in sync with your potential. Basically, is this enough for you and will it be enough in the future?
This is how I found my own why. I lived in different countries, places, went through extremely stressful situations, and like every single person, have my own story.
All these situations and moments, let’s call them LIFE, have shown me my why.
I always say I am lucky to have gone through tough times because in these times that push you outside of your comfort zone, you take action.
So one tip from me: get up and get uncomfortable because that’s where you find your why.
How to start then?
Personal development is a journey that begins when an individual is truly ready.
It’s a realization that comes from within – a moment of clarity when someone recognizes that there’s an aspect of their life that needs attention or improvement. This internal motivation is crucial because self-development is, at its core, a deeply personal process.
No amount of external pressure or encouragement can force someone to embark on this path if they’re not internally motivated. It’s only when people discover their own ‘why’ – their personal reason for wanting to grow and change – that they become genuinely committed to self-improvement.
This ‘why’ could be triggered by various factors: a desire for a better career, improved relationships, enhanced self-esteem, or simply a general feeling of dissatisfaction with the status quo. Whatever the reason, it’s this personal motivation that fuels the sometimes challenging journey of self-development.
From here you can go so many ways that your head will spin around. All I know is that you need to take it slow but firm. I will list a bunch of tools that you can start with but basically this is very individual process and what you need to do is test some options to see what resonates with you the most.
Contagious better self
When you’re on your self-development journey, you will gain confidence, inner strength, and a sense of purpose that grows stronger with each step, making the process increasingly exciting and rewarding as you witness your own transformation and the positive impact it has on your life.
You will not want to stop.
The same feeling that you have after gym or your favourite sport is similar to waking up every day and feel a little bit better that yesterday. Together with improving your life, you’re likely to feel more satisfied in all areas of your life, step by step, little by little
You won’t be happy every day.
Sometimes you’ll feel awful, or like you don’t know what to do. Well, just like you felt many times before. These feelings won’t disappear. But what changes is you. Your mind, your approach, you as a human will become better every day and all these hard moments or bad mood swings will be merely a reminder of being on the right path.
And as with the one day off at the gym, it’s completely okay, and even desirable, to take a break from this inner work.
Don’t get overly excited
From my own experience, I became incredibly excited about all the new things I could learn to improve my life.
Another aspect to consider is the temptation to help others see this path because of how much it has helped you, which can easily become a burden for those around you.
Trust me, people will notice your transformation.
You’ll shine brighter and suddenly become attractive to many.
From what I understand, most people will find this new energy of yours contagious, though some might find it annoying if they’re not happy with their own lives and see you thriving.
This doesn’t mean they’re unkind; it’s just human nature. However, those who are ready to learn and grow will approach you, asking for advice. This is one of the best feelings and your chance to help others, which in turn helps you grow further.
The best results, the only results
What’s the best part about working on yourself, you ask? The feeling of absolute transparency and honesty – not with others, but with yourself.
The greatest outcome is knowing who I am, understanding my boundaries, recognizing how I look, how my relationships are, and how I come across to others, what I struggle with. And I’m okay with that.
I am aware and I am working on myself, and that’s what matters the most.
If someone makes fun of me, I’m okay with that. If someone tries to put me down, I don’t mind. If someone thinks I’m unattractive, overweight, simple, not enough, that my hair is thin, I’m unfriendly, closed off, or not perfect – I’m okay.
Because I know who I am. To those who want to put me down, I try to help if they’re open to it, because I know that their thoughts or words about me are actually about themselves.
This is why I won’t stop. Not only am I becoming happier every day, but I’m also being the change I want to see. Remember, this doesn’t mean being blind to others, mean, or cocky.
It’s about creating more love and light by being the light in others’ lives. That’s what I recommend with all my heart.
Where to start bundle:
Read a book
The Audacity to Be Queen by Gina DeVee
The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
How Are You, Really? by Jenna Kutcher
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté
Write it down
Listen to what others have to say
the rise & conquer with Georgie Stevenson
date yourself instead with Lyss Boss
You might also like:
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A REVERSE CULTURE SHOCK: HOW TO OVERCOME THE UNEXPECTED CHALLENGE OF RETURNING HOME
-
IS HAPPINESS A STATE OF MIND OR HARD WORK? YOUR GUIDE TO LIVING A HAPPY LIFE
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